[after which he covers his face with his hand as if this will hide how flustered he is and as if mineo?? doesn't already know????]
W-Whatever! I can separate my feelings from the job and stuff, but—do whatever you want! Shit, now you're rubbing off onto me!
[NOW HE CAN'T STOP HIS SENTENCE!! AND THAT WAS MAYBE INCREDIBLY UNCONVINCING although white is fairly confident that, like, it won't suddenly cause everything to spiral out of control, given that he's not going to decide that never mind, he doesn't respect mineo's non-answer after all! (if anything, the more likely outcome is mineo deciding that yeah, he's really not into this, gonna reject him on the spot now?)
but there is no way not to respond to this awkwardly aaaaaaaaah]
[he is just. going to plant his hands on white's shoulders and steer him out of the kitchen because this is literally the worst place to talk about possible kissing or not kissing
he's probably steering white to his room?? yea. endorsi and mahito are hopefully not home it's fine.]
[STOP!!!! it's fine mineo's just gonna head in, look around, and then he gets the loft!! it's nice. so that means they're headed up the stairs into mineo's room. gonna be honest it's surprisingly neat because he barely spends time there but also he didn't make the bed this morning.
[white is the last person to judge about someone not making their bed, given how messy he is, so. he sits on the edge of the couch with the confidence of someone who treats other people's rooms like they are, in fact, his now.]
[WHINING ABOUT IT ISN'T EXACTLY CONVINCING but.... he just frowns as he. also goes to sit on the couch after a second. he tries to clear his head enough to talk about this because it feels important!]
.... do you - want to?
[a beat]
Dating's still off the table - I think that's the case for anybody here who wants to win... and if I were dating somebody, I'd want to be way more serious and sincere about it. I - I'd just want to try harder, and you deserve better than any of these stupid non-answers that I'm stuck giving.
[he wants to acknowledge that, because it's true. white deserves better than this. mineo wishes he could give something better than this, but that's just now how things are set up to work.]
.... but if there's something you want from me, and it could still help you win - I want to give it.
[you deserve better, mineo says, and white is unfortunately reminded of why he has these dokis for this moron in the first place.]
Sap.
[he has to say it, if mostly to calm his nerves with the familiar.
he runs a hand through his hair, staring at some point on the floor instead of mineo.]
... I should be asking you that.
[if he wants to.
white's the one with a crush here, after all. seems to him that mineo has less to get out of this, and white doesn't want him to feel like he owes white something.]
he blinks in surprise at that before he reaches out, letting his hand follow the same path of white's, fingers carding through his hair just enough to get him to look up.
and mineo laughs faintly and briefly.]
.... I know you think I'm pretty generous -
But I wouldn't be offering if I didn't want to.
[he can't say with confidence what his feelings are - but he's pretty confident that kissing white wouldn't exactly be a chore.]
[HE JUST BLURTS THAT OUT which is to say he's getting flustered all over again at the gesture and words and. everything. did he ever really stop? no. but this is very sweet and it's killing him. hate this.]
[ . . . before he just laughs a little bit to himself and - he does scoot over a bit more to sit by white on the couch, arm moving to the other side of him to catch some of mineo's weight, effectively letting him cage white a bit.]
.... you didn't answer, you know?
[sometimes the otome jumps out
also i hope right now you remember the conversation about who has more bottom energy]
[STOP YOU WERE OUTVOTED THE MAJORITY DECIDED IT WAS MINEO
AND SOMETIMES A PERSON IS FROM AN OTOME BUT IT'S NOT HIM]
Are you congratulating yourself? You moron.
[ugh!!!
he still glances away, even though the proximity isn't giving him much room to not look at mineo. then, he decides that he's not? going to lose this fight? he looks back at mineo, shifts like he was about to make a grandiose gesture with his arms before he remembered the lack of space, and grins.]
... W-Well, if you insist, then I suppose I'll let you have that honour! Not everyone gets to, you know?
[WHEN IN DOUBT
JUST GO FULL EGOTISTICAL to assert dominance (is it working) (probably not) (he's still red)
he's really doing his best and mineo is. laughing. oh no. this is actually a really stupid and cute response and he can't help but end up laughing even as he bows his head a little closer to white's. his heart is beating in his own chest but he's so endeared he forgets to be flustered]
.... you can't say yes or no like a normal person?!
[THE ATTEMPT TO BITE BACK IS REALLY SENDING HIM RIGHT NOW]
[no that was so dorky and that's coming from mineo. but he doesn't seem to mind too much? he -
(.... he still doesn't know how good of an idea this is, to be honest. it feels like things could get tangled and messy here. but at the same time, there's some part of him that's frustrated. it feels wrong to receive a confession and not exchange even the slightest token of affection for it, when normally he wouldn't even hesitate. aren't there just some things in this place that they don't deserve to take?)
he answers his impulse. he lets his hand rest at the curve of white's jaw just so that he can lean in enough to press their lips together.
it's far sweeter and more sincere than it has any right to be in a place like this.]
[me, still screaming: how do you write a character who actually kisses back for once
anyway.
he still doesn't expect anything from mineo, per se. he knows this won't be a reoccurring thing. it's like mineo said—anything like actual dating is off the table. white has always known that, not in the least because at the end of the day, they're simply living on borrowed time. (that they both are is the only thing that makes it even remotely fair.)
after this, he can shut off his feelings. it's all he's been doing his entire life. in greater extremes, it's how he became a killer when he never wanted to, how he acted as a representative for a religion he barely bothered to understand, how he fought for a cause he didn't even believe in.
to live with himself, to live at all.
so, he'll do the same here. (but he's selfish enough to want to be happy.) and thus he'll take this too, while he can, even as a part of him still wonders if mineo is only doing this out of some self-imposed obligation. but hey, even a pity kiss would probably count as indulgence on some level.
regardless of mineo's motivations, though, white presses in. not without some uncertainty, given that there's a precarious line to walk when kissing a guy who's still possibly not into him, but he's hardly about to not reciprocate—for however long or fleeting this moment lasts.
then, they'll return to how they've always been before. focus on the end goal.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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If you still needed to kiss for indulgence or whatever!!
[oh my god]
But I know it could be a bad idea and just make things more complicated but I already started the sentence and now I can't stop!!
[1/3]
OH. OH. well, if the forehead kiss flustered white, this is DEFINITELY making him turn red aaaaaaaaaaaah]
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AND SHOVES MINEO AWAY]
Y-You— [and then he remembers they're in a public space and he does not want to attract attention] —idiot!
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W-Whatever! I can separate my feelings from the job and stuff, but—do whatever you want! Shit, now you're rubbing off onto me!
[NOW HE CAN'T STOP HIS SENTENCE!! AND THAT WAS MAYBE INCREDIBLY UNCONVINCING although white is fairly confident that, like, it won't suddenly cause everything to spiral out of control, given that he's not going to decide that never mind, he doesn't respect mineo's non-answer after all! (if anything, the more likely outcome is mineo deciding that yeah, he's really not into this, gonna reject him on the spot now?)
but there is no way not to respond to this awkwardly aaaaaaaaah]
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We're not having this conversation here.
[he is just. going to plant his hands on white's shoulders and steer him out of the kitchen because this is literally the worst place to talk about possible kissing or not kissing
he's probably steering white to his room?? yea. endorsi and mahito are hopefully not home it's fine.]
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but white will follow mineo out of the kitchen because. yeah. hm.]
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and there's probably snackies]
Ah, make yourself at home...
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and then realizes]
.... I don't know how to start this conversation again.
[THIS IS SO STUPID]
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[THIS IS TERRIBLE]
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[and now he looks like he wants to whine about it]
I mean - it's not like... other people don't just... kiss whoever they want to here...
[which he turns more red at? phew.]
I don't really want... your feelings to get in your way or anything...
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I can pretend they don't exist. Whatever.
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Um. That's fine. I don't think... anyone really has room to be jealous over much here, even though I know that's... hard....
[ . . . . . . . . . . wow he needs to figure out what to say]
But if... you do need... uh. [wow!!!] .... I wish I could ask more sweetly than this?! This is such a lame way to ask!
[mineo,]
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You're lame. I'd be concerned if you suddenly started acting smooth.
[is white deflecting from the fact that he's not exactly helping right now because he also doesn't know how to discuss this? maybe.]
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[WHINING ABOUT IT ISN'T EXACTLY CONVINCING but.... he just frowns as he. also goes to sit on the couch after a second. he tries to clear his head enough to talk about this because it feels important!]
.... do you - want to?
[a beat]
Dating's still off the table - I think that's the case for anybody here who wants to win... and if I were dating somebody, I'd want to be way more serious and sincere about it. I - I'd just want to try harder, and you deserve better than any of these stupid non-answers that I'm stuck giving.
[he wants to acknowledge that, because it's true. white deserves better than this. mineo wishes he could give something better than this, but that's just now how things are set up to work.]
.... but if there's something you want from me, and it could still help you win - I want to give it.
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Sap.
[he has to say it, if mostly to calm his nerves with the familiar.
he runs a hand through his hair, staring at some point on the floor instead of mineo.]
... I should be asking you that.
[if he wants to.
white's the one with a crush here, after all. seems to him that mineo has less to get out of this, and white doesn't want him to feel like he owes white something.]
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he blinks in surprise at that before he reaches out, letting his hand follow the same path of white's, fingers carding through his hair just enough to get him to look up.
and mineo laughs faintly and briefly.]
.... I know you think I'm pretty generous -
But I wouldn't be offering if I didn't want to.
[he can't say with confidence what his feelings are - but he's pretty confident that kissing white wouldn't exactly be a chore.]
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—I liked it better when you weren't smooth! Fuck.
[HE JUST BLURTS THAT OUT which is to say he's getting flustered all over again at the gesture and words and. everything. did he ever really stop? no. but this is very sweet and it's killing him. hate this.]
[1/2]
that actually surprises a laugh out of him - ]
Oh, yeah! I guess that was kinda smooth, huh?! Nice....!
[CONGRATULATING HIMSELF LIKE AN IDIOT]
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.... you didn't answer, you know?
[sometimes the otome jumps out
also i hope right now you remember the conversation about who has more bottom energy]
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AND SOMETIMES A PERSON IS FROM AN OTOME BUT IT'S NOT HIM]
Are you congratulating yourself? You moron.
[ugh!!!
he still glances away, even though the proximity isn't giving him much room to not look at mineo. then, he decides that he's not? going to lose this fight? he looks back at mineo, shifts like he was about to make a grandiose gesture with his arms before he remembered the lack of space, and grins.]
... W-Well, if you insist, then I suppose I'll let you have that honour! Not everyone gets to, you know?
[WHEN IN DOUBT
JUST GO FULL EGOTISTICAL to assert dominance (is it working) (probably not) (he's still red)
but he's doing his best]
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he's really doing his best and mineo is. laughing. oh no. this is actually a really stupid and cute response and he can't help but end up laughing even as he bows his head a little closer to white's. his heart is beating in his own chest but he's so endeared he forgets to be flustered]
.... you can't say yes or no like a normal person?!
[THE ATTEMPT TO BITE BACK IS REALLY SENDING HIM RIGHT NOW]
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AS IF IT WASN'T ALREADY BUT]
S-Shut up! Fine, yes! Happy now?
[stop!!! let him live!!!]
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(.... he still doesn't know how good of an idea this is, to be honest. it feels like things could get tangled and messy here. but at the same time, there's some part of him that's frustrated. it feels wrong to receive a confession and not exchange even the slightest token of affection for it, when normally he wouldn't even hesitate. aren't there just some things in this place that they don't deserve to take?)
he answers his impulse. he lets his hand rest at the curve of white's jaw just so that he can lean in enough to press their lips together.
it's far sweeter and more sincere than it has any right to be in a place like this.]
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anyway.
he still doesn't expect anything from mineo, per se. he knows this won't be a reoccurring thing. it's like mineo said—anything like actual dating is off the table. white has always known that, not in the least because at the end of the day, they're simply living on borrowed time. (that they both are is the only thing that makes it even remotely fair.)
after this, he can shut off his feelings. it's all he's been doing his entire life. in greater extremes, it's how he became a killer when he never wanted to, how he acted as a representative for a religion he barely bothered to understand, how he fought for a cause he didn't even believe in.
to live with himself, to live at all.
so, he'll do the same here. (but he's selfish enough to want to be happy.) and thus he'll take this too, while he can, even as a part of him still wonders if mineo is only doing this out of some self-imposed obligation. but hey, even a pity kiss would probably count as indulgence on some level.
regardless of mineo's motivations, though, white presses in. not without some uncertainty, given that there's a precarious line to walk when kissing a guy who's still possibly not into him, but he's hardly about to not reciprocate—for however long or fleeting this moment lasts.
then, they'll return to how they've always been before. focus on the end goal.]
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