I keep a lot more from you than I want to.... I know it sucks, to feel like you aren't being trusted with stuff - but a lot of what I get is actually second or third-hand.... so I'm not really allowed to share it out any further than that.
But... it's not because I don't trust you.
I still feel bad about it though - like I'm not doing right by you, the way I want to.
[there was a time, years ago, when he would've been more offended, and he can't deny it still stings sometimes when people lie to his face and admit as much later, but... well, he gets why others wouldn't want to trust him, at least.
(don't people say that if something happens once, you can blame the other party—but if it happens again and again, you're the problem?)]
That's not really the case, I don't think. At least here - I can at least reassure you that I do trust you. If we didn't have to deal with all this murder mystery stuff... it'd be different.
[he would be a lot more giving about what he could say, and he would never have to hide anything from white.
he thinks a lot of things would be different if they didn't meet here, of all places.]
[... well, thank god it's not emotionshare week yet! because fuck, white can feel his heart racing from every bit of kindness mineo gives him.
honestly. when mineo wins this race (because he has to; white refuses to accept any other possibility), gets his wish, and returns home and lives—whoever he finds one day will be incredibly lucky to have him.]
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I keep a lot more from you than I want to.... I know it sucks, to feel like you aren't being trusted with stuff - but a lot of what I get is actually second or third-hand.... so I'm not really allowed to share it out any further than that.
But... it's not because I don't trust you.
I still feel bad about it though - like I'm not doing right by you, the way I want to.
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his gaze returns back to a random point, rather than at mineo.]
Don't feel about that. I'm used to it, anyway.
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Not much to be done about it, right?
[there was a time, years ago, when he would've been more offended, and he can't deny it still stings sometimes when people lie to his face and admit as much later, but... well, he gets why others wouldn't want to trust him, at least.
(don't people say that if something happens once, you can blame the other party—but if it happens again and again, you're the problem?)]
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That's not really the case, I don't think. At least here - I can at least reassure you that I do trust you. If we didn't have to deal with all this murder mystery stuff... it'd be different.
[he would be a lot more giving about what he could say, and he would never have to hide anything from white.
he thinks a lot of things would be different if they didn't meet here, of all places.]
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[if he's being honest? it's not because he thinks white will be hurt by anything he does, if anything he thinks white is way too understanding]
I just want to acknowledge that I want to be better to you than I am, and you deserve more than what I'm stuck giving.
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he reaches over to shove mineo, lightly.]
Idiot. You've already given enough.
[more than enough.]
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... doesn't change what I think.
[that white deserves even more than this]
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honestly. when mineo wins this race (because he has to; white refuses to accept any other possibility), gets his wish, and returns home and lives—whoever he finds one day will be incredibly lucky to have him.]
... Stubborn asshole.