[ . . . . mineo can't help but smile a little bit at that, his mouth curving into the shame even as his own feelings turn just a bit - confused? at white's words.]
.... I think if anything, you owe me a good punch soon. [given all the mistakes that mineo's made, even as willing as white is to forgive him for them. or maybe forgive is too strong of a word - overlook might work a little bit better.
still - the understanding and acceptance manage to make his heart ache just a little bit more. mineo is ultimately a romantic at the end of the day, and how badly he wanted to be able to give all of himself to someone but - this isn't the place for it. their circumstances only make it more difficult, not to mention every person who tried to demonstrate their own care and affection for mineo, even if they also expected nothing back.
it's overwhelming. but at least in this moment... there is only the faintest sense of longing that remains, of wishing for a simpler future that doesn't exist for either of them, before he tries to quietly lull the feeling back to sleep. somewhere that he won't worry about it.]
.... you let me get away with a little too much, don't you think? I don't know how to start making things up to you - but I'll do my best.
[owe mineo a punch, that is. he won't deny that much. but he can be angry and grateful towards him all at once.
maybe this was a mistake. mineo's the one who asked, but white can't help but wonder if this only made things worse for him, rather than help anything at all. or maybe he shouldn't think about it in the first place, because in the end, he wants to hold onto whatever scraps of happiness the world will allow him.]
... You're your own worst critic, you know.
[though white can acknowledge his own expectations are skewed. when life itself was a privilege and not a right, white doesn't know what, at this point, is too much or too little. (and cynically, he realizes that if this situation ever came up again, mineo would likely make the same choices all over again, so what does it matter, really?)]
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.... I think if anything, you owe me a good punch soon. [given all the mistakes that mineo's made, even as willing as white is to forgive him for them. or maybe forgive is too strong of a word - overlook might work a little bit better.
still - the understanding and acceptance manage to make his heart ache just a little bit more. mineo is ultimately a romantic at the end of the day, and how badly he wanted to be able to give all of himself to someone but - this isn't the place for it. their circumstances only make it more difficult, not to mention every person who tried to demonstrate their own care and affection for mineo, even if they also expected nothing back.
it's overwhelming. but at least in this moment... there is only the faintest sense of longing that remains, of wishing for a simpler future that doesn't exist for either of them, before he tries to quietly lull the feeling back to sleep. somewhere that he won't worry about it.]
.... you let me get away with a little too much, don't you think? I don't know how to start making things up to you - but I'll do my best.
no subject
[owe mineo a punch, that is. he won't deny that much. but he can be angry and grateful towards him all at once.
maybe this was a mistake. mineo's the one who asked, but white can't help but wonder if this only made things worse for him, rather than help anything at all. or maybe he shouldn't think about it in the first place, because in the end, he wants to hold onto whatever scraps of happiness the world will allow him.]
... You're your own worst critic, you know.
[though white can acknowledge his own expectations are skewed. when life itself was a privilege and not a right, white doesn't know what, at this point, is too much or too little. (and cynically, he realizes that if this situation ever came up again, mineo would likely make the same choices all over again, so what does it matter, really?)]