mineo.

[enfangs]

Comments

[enfangs]

[...

it's a weird mix of emotions. his desire to be anywhere but here, being lectured (however much he deserves it), against his reaction whenever mineo shows he cares, which is its own mess and contradiction.

the idea of people being upset if anything happened to him is, honestly, still a novelty.

so all he can do is freeze up, staring at the ground.]

[sengokus]

[ . . . . well.

if anything else, it's just a sign that he knows that white is listening to him. he huffs out a breath, annoyed, before he places a hand on his shoulder.]

... don't scare me like that again.

[because that's what it boils down to.]

I don't want to lose anyone important to me again.

[enfangs]

[he still can't bring himself to look at mineo, but—]

... I'm not trying to.

[sengokus]

.... I know.

[and he'll drop his hand just so he can bump lightly into white's side]

But if it takes an active request from me to do everything you can to avoid accidents like that... consider this it.

[enfangs]

[...

it really is difficult, putting a name to what he's feeling right now.]

I'll keep it in mind.

[sengokus]

[ . . . and he just sighs as he leans back against the bench]

... okay.

Then I'll try to stop being mad, since you agreed.

[enfangs]

[... with that, some of the tension leaves his body, though he still elects to stare at the ground rather than anywhere in mineo's direction.]

[sengokus]

[ . . .

he'll just

nudge white's foot with his own]

... what're you thinking?

[enfangs]

[that almost gets white to look at him, his head jerking in surprise.]

Nothing.

[sengokus]

That's not true.

[he nudges white's foot with his own again]

Try again.

[enfangs]

What do you expect me to say!?

[... he knows, but.]

[sengokus]

The truth.

[ . . . he tilts his head.]

... I know you got lectured a lot. And even if it's because people care, it still sucks to have them kicking your ass when you were just trying to help. I'm not taking back what I said, or being mad. [because he thinks he was right to be]

But I can still check on if you're okay after all that.

[enfangs]

[...]

I'm fine.

[though what he won't say is that people getting angry out of caring cuts him in a way that being mad for literally any other reason never did.]

[sengokus]

[ . . . ]

It's okay if you're not.

I wanna know what you're thinking.... if you'll trust me with it.

[enfangs]

[god. mineo always has a way of guilting him into this, even if it's unintentional.]

... I dunno, just—

[...]

If this had happened back with the other Demans and I'd somehow managed to get myself poisoned, the others probably would've laughed and told me I deserved it, so this feels really fucking weird, I guess!

[sengokus]

[ . . . . . . he just

scowls]

I didn't think I could want to punch people I've never met so much before.

[enfangs]

[he can't squish the bit of warmth that blossoms, although it's accompanied by a sense of relief that mineo didn't see certain memories.

he shrugs.]

Shitty workplace cultures. What can you do?

[except in this case, his "workplace" was the only home he'd known for over a hundred years, and his "coworkers" the closest thing to a (fucked up, disloyal) family.

he can't say he felt any real grief over their deaths, and that's as someone who cared more about his fellow demans than most of them ever did.]

[sengokus]

[ . . . . . he kind of gets it. sort of. it's hard to say, when even mineo's team - for all that they used to dismiss him - would still give him grief like a bunch of older brothers or uncles.]

.... I'm glad you got out of it.

Don't let anybody treat you like that again. Or if they do, I'll kick their ass before you can even get to them.

[enfangs]

[... and there it is, that warmth again. you deserve better, mineo had once said, and for all that white has always wanted better out of his life, the notion that he deserves it is something he still has to wrap his head around.]

Trust me, I don't plan on it.

[sengokus]

[he nods, more firmly and assured]

Good.

[ . . . . ]

But I can get... how the difference might be something that you need to sit with for a while.

[enfangs]

[NUDGES MINEO'S FOOT BUT, LIKE, AGGRESSIVELY]

Tch! You don't need to act like I'm fragile, you know.

[sengokus]

[NUDGES BACK IRRITABLY]

I'm not, stupid!

I'm just saying that there's nothing wrong with needing to sit with your thoughts for a while! You clearly have them, so you should get to have time with them!

[enfangs]

[well now he's angrily nudging back because mineo nudged back]

This coming from the nerd...!

[sengokus]

I'm not a nerd! You're just bad at handling your own emotions!

[enfangs]

[LOOKS AWAY

as in. more than he was already looking away.]

Shut up! So what if I am...?