enfangs | mineo.

[ . . . . he pulls white to his feet and just laughs a little bit of the question.]

... I don't know. But I've also never had to think about whether I'm even worthy to judge other people. I don't think I am.

[he doesn't think he has any room to talk, when he himself has been judged as evil and some days he can't shake the idea that he might be.]

I know that I need to move forward, and I can't really be stuck anywhere... but I think about it a lot.

[... in moments like these, mineo really does remind him of the conversations he's had with lessa.

he's quiet for a bit, shuffling his weight between his feet.]

The murderers you want to catch—you think they'll kill again?

[mineo will at least incline his head to indicate that he's headed out of the gym - time to get that ice]

Yeah.

They'll hurt a lot of people if I don't catch them. They want to change what the entire country looks like.

[he follows him, glad that he has an excuse not to look at mineo as he talks.]

When the war came to an end, and Lord Lessa saved me and left most of the others to die, I didn't know why, at first. Especially since he almost executed me later anyway, when he thought I was about to kill some humans.

[...]

It took a while before I got why. [why lessa saved him, that is.] With Ares gone and our era at an end, there was no point in killing anymore. I managed to understand that and move on, and not everyone did or would've.

[also the part where becoming a deman had never really been white's choice! but anyway

mineo wasn't exactly right when he said he felt like white didn't enjoy killing. because he did, when it made him feel strong; better than a piece of trash underneath people's feet.

but he wasn't necessarily wrong, either.

which is to say, this is white unfortunately having to admit that maybe he's not a (completely) shitty person, hence why he sounds kind of awkward while saying all this.]

... If that helps at all. I dunno if that made sense.

Edited 2021-03-11 06:43 (UTC)

[ . . . . he listens closely at that, expression turning thoughtful. is that the difference? the ability for people to learn, and improve, and not want to hurt people anymore? to know that at their core that they are not evil?

but what then - about every person that mineo wants to save? where does he draw the line? is that something he can even confidently draw the line about? he's not sure

he fumbles a little bit with his answer, but he can't deny that there is a bit more clarity here]

.... it helps.

I think I still have to come to some of my own answers and wrestle with them but... it helps.

[cool, white is walking faster now because he had his moment of emotional vulnerability and now he would like to pretend it never happened.]

And this is why having a dysfunctional moral compass is so much easier! But good luck with that shit and all.

[ . . . . he's just snorting faintly at that before he'll go to catch up and - walk ahead of white? he's walking backwards now, it's up to white to make sure that mineo doesn't trip and eat shit]

I don't know why you're saying that so confidently when you clearly know what's going on with you.

Maybe you've got stuff figured out even more than I do, White. I've got stuff to learn from you, too.

[white pauses for a moment because that's probably, like, the first time anyone has ever suggested that white has his stuff together? wow.]

... Well, of course you could stand to learn a thing or two from me! But there are also probably a lot of people who'd be horrified by me corrupting you or something.