[ . . . . oh. he leaves the curry to stew for a second then, leaving it behind as he goes to check on white. there's a sort of understanding in his chest, coupled with a concern]
.... hey.
[he reaches out again - this time to try to just catch white's hand]
... Well, it's not like any of us thought it'd be forever here. Going our separate ways was inevitable.
[nothing lasts. that's one thing white has learned well in his long life, after outliving almost everything and everyone he's known—even those that seemed as though they would never disappear.
...
he opens his mouth again, before the awkwardness burns up and he closes it, because what he was about to say definitely toed the line of being platonic.]
[ . . . . there's a little furrow of his brow at that, confusion mixed with curiosity - and he'll just squeeze white's hand again. this time aiming for encouraging]
For being there, in general. You've been a pain in the ass, but for the first time, I felt... normal, I guess.
[rather than the fucked up piece of trash he became.
and there it is again, the loneliness and longing and remorse, for the life he never had and long gave up on. with that said, there's overwhelming gratitude as well, because even if mineo dies tonight and white's heart shatters, he'll never not be glad to have met him.
he likes mineo, who probably doesn't return those feelings. but it's fine, as for white, at this point, "i like you" isn't an expectation—it's his way of thanking them for living.]
[ . . . ah. there's a few emotions that bubble up from mineo then - surprise, affection, even a little bit of worry but.... mostly he is quite touched. like white's words are warming him from the inside - making him feel like maybe this life has been worth living up to this point.
like it's good, to want more time.
. . . . so he doesn't really hesitate or ask permission this time, instead just tugging briefly on white's hand to pull him closer - so mineo can drop a brief but sweet kiss to his cheek.]
.... you are normal.
And you don't need to thank me for something that's been so easy for me to do. It hasn't been hard at all. Knowing you.
[white freezes, turning bright red at the kiss, even if it's just on the cheek—before he glances away, trying to calm himself down.]
Okay, that's just a complete lie.
[look, white knows he's a handful, and not just because of his history of a lot of murder? he almost ate evidence. he distinctly recalls mineo being furious.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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God, I hate you.
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he pauses at that and his heart does a stutter before he can think better of it, face flushing a bit as he looks away]
I don't.... want to make assumptions....?
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[the loneliness is there for a lot of reasons, but that much is the truth, as difficult as it is to get the words out.]
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.... hey.
[he reaches out again - this time to try to just catch white's hand]
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... You don't need to keep dropping everything you're doing.
[just because white happens to have an emotion.]
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[i'm not looking up a curry recipe to figure out how long 'a bit' is
but mineo's just going to keep holding onto his hand then! and he'll give it a squeeze]
.... I don't really have anything I can say. I haven't figured it out for myself either.
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[nothing lasts. that's one thing white has learned well in his long life, after outliving almost everything and everyone he's known—even those that seemed as though they would never disappear.
...
he opens his mouth again, before the awkwardness burns up and he closes it, because what he was about to say definitely toed the line of being platonic.]
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... what were you going to say?
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definitely not looking at mineo, as he turns just slightly red.]
Nothing you need to hear.
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And if it's something I want to hear?
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well that fond feeling is just getting worse]
Please?
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but after a while, he replies, practically muttering—]
... I just wanted to say thank you.
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[he hasn't quite been able to follow]
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For being there, in general. You've been a pain in the ass, but for the first time, I felt... normal, I guess.
[rather than the fucked up piece of trash he became.
and there it is again, the loneliness and longing and remorse, for the life he never had and long gave up on. with that said, there's overwhelming gratitude as well, because even if mineo dies tonight and white's heart shatters, he'll never not be glad to have met him.
he likes mineo, who probably doesn't return those feelings. but it's fine, as for white, at this point, "i like you" isn't an expectation—it's his way of thanking them for living.]
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like it's good, to want more time.
. . . . so he doesn't really hesitate or ask permission this time, instead just tugging briefly on white's hand to pull him closer - so mineo can drop a brief but sweet kiss to his cheek.]
.... you are normal.
And you don't need to thank me for something that's been so easy for me to do. It hasn't been hard at all. Knowing you.
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Okay, that's just a complete lie.
[look, white knows he's a handful, and not just because of his history of a lot of murder? he almost ate evidence. he distinctly recalls mineo being furious.]